I realised it would form the backbone of the book: Julia would be a recovering addict, someone haunted by her past, yet also in some way nostalgic for it. A character, Julia, began to emerge, but the wheels were still spinning until a friend said to me, “You know, addiction is a very patient disease.” That one phrase became the key that unlocked the novel I began to see addiction as something cunning, lying in wait, biding its time. I realised that it was this multiplicity of self that I wanted to write about. It can be all too easy to look back on the person that we “used to be”, on the road-no-longer-travelled, with a fondness and regret that are often misplaced. At the same time, I’d been musing on how our sense of self is never really fixed, yet we tell ourselves one historical narrative, constantly rewritten to make sense of the changes in our lives. I’d been thinking about online lives, about how social networking allows us to present multiple versions of ourselves to the world, identities that are both highly curated and tightly controlled. I’d been working on my second novel for a while before I realised what it was really about.
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